My favorite time of the month.  I walk into the grocery store and see the new Vanity Fair magazine sitting there waiting for me.  Yes, there is a few second pause as I attempt to justify it within the grocery budget.  It’s a teensy bit of a challenge because I’ve already exceeded my non-existent Starbucks budget (venti-non-fat-pumpkin-spice-latte-half-sweet-extra-hot - fall flavor is here) for September.  Thus, this is the rationalization:  I’ll buy the scratchy toilet paper next time I go shopping.  Since the Canadian news stand price of VF is $5.50, I realize my family will be paying in discomfort for my purchase.  But what they’ll lose in butt cushioning, they’ll gain in their knowledge that I totally know what’s going on.  Hopefully you don’t think less of me (as a mama, fiscally responsible person, or otherwise) for this act.  Well… actually I don’t care much if you do.

So… Here it is.  The Fabulous October Issue of Vanity Fair.  You’ll note the two articles with “ass” in the title.  This cracks me up.  [I must be soaking up the back-to-school mentality.  My students laughed their heads off when we were reading The Glass Menagerie (Tennessee Williams) and Amanda talks about her “gay deceivers”.  Give me a break.]

Nicole Kidman Bares All:

I like Nicole.  I’m still so intrigued by what happened between her & Tom.  But it’s a great interview about her new life. 

Dominick Dunne’s continuing Courtroom Drama:

The Phil Spector thing is getting on my nerves a bit.  The guy’s a wack-job.  More on this later this week.  But Dominick Dunne is the best of the best.  So read it.  Even if you don’t care about Phil. 

Some Political Stuff:

(Confession:  I’m a political dummy.)  “Inside Bush’s Bunker” talks about the president’s “fortress mentality” - and “Billions Over Baghdad” exposes how $$$$ (as in 9 billion) is unaccounted for in Baghdad.  As ignorant as I am about politics, I have to say that BOTH of these articles scare the hell out of me.  

The Ads.

I love the ads.  DKNY, Ralph Lauren, Tiffany & Co, Rolex… and who could resist Angelina’s new St. Johns pose; Keira Knightley’s got curves (tell me how THAT happened??) for Chanel and countless other fabulous fall faces and products.  You know, with all of these celebs getting the lucrative endorsements, how will those top model girls support themselves?

“Group of Seven”

A glossy, glam ad showcasing 7 of Canadian’s most innovative designers who are “expanding the fashion landscape for the 21st century”. 

Hilarity:

An absolutely brilliant guide titled: “Know Your Asshole Footprint”.  It offers a “questionnaire that will help individuals determine the size and breadth of the footprint they’re leaving” and then suggests “urgent measures to reduce” it. 

Some of the example questions:

“Do you refer to ordinary male pastimes and accessories with such terms as “man-cation”, “man-date”, “man-purse”, “man-orexic” etc.

“Is your car worth more than $100,000″

“Are your birthday parties televised?”

AND THE SUGGESTIONS THEY GIVE TO ‘REDUCE THE FOOTPRINT’ are so funny.  

ALSO

Another “ass” title:  “Lazy-Ass Nation”.  Jim Windolf discusses the insanity of our generations love of ”gadgetry” and “why bother” work ethics.  Superb.

Going After Gore

As far as I’m concerned, this article deserves top billing in the mag.  Gore, his reputation, and the things he cares about most should be ahead of everything (even the Prada ads!).  The media bashed him a few years ago… but looks like things have changed.  Go Gore Go.

And last but not least.  If you’re a Visa Signature cardholder, there’s an ad about their night with Christie’s - for a ticket of $100 you can apparently enjoy a fab four-course dinner - WITH THE OPPORTUNITY TO TRY ON SOME OF THEIR BAUBLES.  Ohh…. October 3 in NYC.  I’m a bit busy that night.  But naturally, dahhling, I’ll pencil it in for next year.

(yah.  right.)

So there it is.  The October Vanity Fair.  Kicks ass.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 24th, 2007 at 6:05 am. You can leave a comment below.