Our new house backs onto a beautiful chunk of land - no “neighbors” behind us.  So I’m outside in the back the other day, checking out the shed, and I notice that on one of the sides, there’s a door with chicken wire.  Lo and behold, the very nice man who owns the land behind our house comes moseying back and introduces himself and his two dogs (Hello Hunky.  Hello Dorey.)

Me:  [several exchanges of “nice to meet you’s” and then…]  Do you happen to know what this chicken wire door is all about?

Neighbor:  Yah.  One of the people in that house brought back giant squirrels from Stanley Park.

Me:  Brought them here?  Like to live?

Neighbor:  Yup.

Me: Isn’t that illegal or something?  Can you just pluck squirrels from Stanley Park and have them live with you?

Neighbor:  Don’t know.  Reckon it’s not done a lot.

Me:  Oh.  Where did they go?

Neighbor:  [slight crease forms in an angry wrinkle above his eyes]  She just let ‘em go one day.  They had a feast.

Me:  A feast?  Did they get into your garbage & stuff?

Neighbor:  Sure did.  This here behind me is a nut farm.

Me:  [suppressing laughter].  I live at the back of a nut farm? 

Neighbor:  [eyebrows still crinkled demonstrating he does NOT see the humor in this - maybe he doesn’t say “nut-bar” or “nut-house” or “R U nuts?” a lot]  Yup.  Don’t reckon you’ve got squirrels, do you?

Me:  Nope.  Two orangutans that look like small boys.  But no squirrels.

So what that I live (literally) on a Nut Farm.  It’s all Hunky Dorey.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 24th, 2008 at 8:13 am. You can leave a comment below.